Friday, October 4, 2013

How to ?????

Last week I taught a lesson based on the expression "How to ______", I figured it was only natural to let me kids have free reign with it and write me some how to instructions. The only rules were that they had to provide what materials were needed and include a minimum of 5 steps.  Most of my classes were pretty eager about the activity and I could see the wheels spinning as they tried to think about what to write.

I'm not going to go into detail about the lesson, rather I just wanted to share with you some of the great results that came from this.

To begin I have many students who seem to be aspiring chefs:

I had 18 students explain to me How to make Ramen, eventually I began the class with "Please font' tell me how to make Ramen" otherwise i'm sure I would've had about double the amount.

Not quite as popular but I also had 8 students tell me How to make rice, it can be more difficult than one might expect. "

Finally there were also a myriad of recipes for Kimchi Fried rice, Fried Eggs, Kimbap, Ice Cream and Sandwiches. Interesting note on How to make a Sandwich though, almost every recipie included ham and eggs ~ now maybe you can understand why I say they don't have sandwiches in Korea.  What the kids were referring to is the Korean toast sandwich, which I do love but does not qualify as a proper sandwich.  I still get dumbfounded stares when I say I miss a good sandwich.... ah if only they knew.

For those students not aspiring to be a chef, beauty consultant could come in a close second. I had roughly 10 students explain to me How to [apply] makeup.  All of which included the ever popular and completely necessary BB Cream

Okay so those were just previews to some of the greatness that occurred in class last week. I sorted through all of my papers and chose some of those which either impressed me, puzzles me or just gave me a good laugh. The following come from both low and high level students, boys and girls (I decided to type them verbatim too - spelling errors and poor grammar included.

How to become the English master: 
First pick up the Stephanie, then we are teacher Stephanie, next learn originally English, then talking English, Finally we are English master.
looks like I might have to spend more time with this one^^

How to make good morning: 
First you must not eat capain (caffeine) one day before. Then early go to bed. Next early wake up. Then take shower, finally you sit and you drink morning coffee.
Sounds like a perfect morning to me ~ wondering what movie or TV show she adapted this from :)

How to live smart: 
First buy the Samsung smart phone, then buy the Samsung tablet, next buy the Samsung ultra book, then buy the Samsung galaxy gear. Finally, enjoy your Samsung tools.
apparently he's either been watching too much TV (seeing too many Samsung ads) or is prepping for his future job of salesman of the year

How to be happy people: 
First buy house, next buy car, then buy clothes, then buy appliance, finally buy food.
materialistic much? Welcome to Korea.

How to bully: 
First find your hate friends, next find out his or her address. Then push the bell continually, then run as fast as you can. Finally smile.
This just makes me laugh 

How to make girl group: 
First walk the street and meet the pretty girl, show the powers and casting. Then let them plastic surgery, then let them dance training. Finally girl group debut.
Kind of sad that plastic surgery is a step even though we begin with finding a 'pretty' girl.

How to be a good singer:
First be brace because if you will be brace you already reach half of your goal. Next, you have to practice more and more, probably practice can make you be a good singer. Then good lyrics and melodies can back up you. Then, if you have kind and active crowd they will also support you. Finally sing for somebody.
He's quiet in class - clearly hiding his great English abilities

How to make a dertty body: 
First be late night, then many eat fast food, next don't healthy, then don't shower.

How to appeal millionaire: 
First make your face and body beautiful (if you want plastic surgery OK). Next, wearing the sexy clothes and perpuming, third buy the expensive handbag and shoes. Fourth meet the millionaire and appeal to him. Finally accept propose and marry him.
Looks like I have to find myself a millionaire 

How to see a rainbow: 
First you should go outside when rain coming. Next, if rain stop and sunny then rainbow is appear to your sight and you appreciate a rainbow. Finally you take a picture.
A+ on the creativity here

How to be a Bad Person: 
First you always laugh at person, you are immoral when you see moral things, you always have a knife and you must be impatient person.
He actually started with "good" person but only got two steps so started over with bad

How to punish moskitto:
First see moskitto, then put your hands up, next attack moskitto, then die moskitto. Finally see moskitto's blood in your hand and so happy :)
Yes, the smile face was drawn included 

How to take starscape: 
First find a place where is far from city, then hold camera on tripod and put it on ground properly. Make camera aimed to sky, open shutter for long time, tea time, finally we got a starcape.
This may have also been the same student that educated me on astronomy during speaking tests last spring. 

How to be a good parent: 
First when parents punnish kids parents must be constant. Don't be angry when kids make a mistakes, taker care of kids, don't show parents wrong behavior to their kids. Finally praise kids a lot.
Good advise, should pass this out on cards to some people. 

How to call night food: 
First at night, watch a clock. Then look for delivery book of many food, look at pictures of delicious food. Next check your ____ hungry or not. If you listen your hungry sound, then call there and ask food name and your home address. Finally food is arrived, eat.
I loved that checking to see if you were hungry is included in these steps 

How to make easy food in your house: 
First call your mom, already sick and tired face and speak "I'm hungry", wait. Finally smile and eat.

How to lotto: 
First go to the lotto store, buy the lotto, get number to beautiful girl.
I'm not sure if that's getting a girls number after you win or what? 

How to sexy dance: 
First start music, next rely on only rhythem and body. Finally I already become sexy guy.
The students were begging for a demonstration but he suddenly turned shy ~~

I then had 7 students inform me on How to make a girlfriend most of which involved a handsome guy, pretty girl, money, and a cell phone.
Some of which were purely entertaining: 
First I'm go girl, speak impact for girl, catch girls hand, look into the eyes "I like you"
While other's were a bit more genuine: 
First you have a bravery to profess your love, second you always give your girlfriend true love, third always respect your partner, fourth manner must underline your relationship between you and your lover. Finally it's a dream.

Three students decided to take it a bit further:

How to kiss with girlfriend; 
First make a girlfriend, go to see a midnight movie in the theater, get on the taxi to go home, get off playground near girlfriends house and gaze each other. Finally,umm..ENJOY!

How to make a baby: 
First make girlfriend, go home with girlfriend, take shower, sleep on only catching hand, finally a baby is created.
Hmm only girlfriend? Seems to me a wife may be more appropriate for this situation, and also hilarious that 'shower' was included in the steps. 

Then of course there were also the five students who wrote instructions on How to sleep which may seem silly but honestly I think more of my students need to read through this one.  Korean's don't value sleep like they should, I actually feel guilty when I tell my students i'm tired, knowing that I probably got at least 6 hours of sleep the prior night whereas they might be trying to function on 4 or 5.

Cheer's to the weekend and here's to hoping they take that advice and get some rest.

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